Tuesday, May 24, 2005
I Am BackArrived home around 10.30 pm last nite. Alhamdullilah, we had a great vacation. I am very occupied with so many things after being away for 4 days. I feel quite fresh and hopefully can be more productive in the coming weeks. Will write later about the snowdonia and have to fifure out how to upload photos here. Till then, I have a pleasure to share to you a nicely written article below. Many thanks to Ms. D who forward this article.
SIGNS of HIGH & LOW EQ
Steve Hein (1999) suggest the general characteristics
of people of high and low EQ as guidelines.
Signs of High EQ
A person with high EQ:
* Expresses his feelings clearly and directly with
three word
sentences 'beginning with "I feel..."
* *
Does not diguise thoughts as feeling by the use of "I
feel like...... and "I feel that...... sentences.,
* *
Is not afraid to express her feelings.
* *
Is not dominated by negative emotions such as:
* Fear, Worry, Guilt, Shame, Embarrassment,
Obligation,
Disappointment,
* Hopelessness,
* Powerlessness, Dependency, Victimization,
Discouragement
* *
Is able to read non-verbal communication.
* *
Lets his feelings guide him through life.
* *
Balances feelings with reason, logic, and reality.
* *
Acts out of desire, not because of duty, guilt, force
or obligation.
* *
Is independent, self-reliant and morally autonomous.
* *
Is intrinsically motivated.
* *
Is not motivated by power, wealth, status, fame, or
approval.
* *
Is emotionally resilient.
* *
Is optimistic; Does not internalize failure.
* *
Is interested in other people's feelings.
* *
Is comfortable talking about feelings.
* *
Is not immobilized by fear or worry.
* *
Is able to identify. multiple concurrent feelings.
Signs of Low EQ
A person with low EQ :
* Doesn't take responsibilities for his feelings; but
blames you or others for them.
* *
Can't put together three word sentences starting with
"I feel..."
* *
Can't tell you why she feels the way she does, or
can't do it without blaming someone else.
* *
Attacks, blames, commands, criticized, interrupts,
invalidates, lectures, advises and judges you and
others.
* *
Tries to analyze you, for example when You express
your feelings.
* *
Often begins sentences with "I think you..."
* *
Sends "You messages" disgused as "I feel messages" For
example, "I feel like you......"
* *
Lays guilt trips on you.
* *
Withholds information about or lies about his
feelings. (Emotional dishonesty)
* *
Exaggerates or minimizes her feelings.
* *
Lets things build up, then they blow up, or react
strongly to something relatively minor.
* *
Lacks integrity and a sense of conscience.
* *
Carries grudges; is unforgiving.
* *
Doesn't tell you where you really stand with her.
* *
Is uncomfortable to be around.
* *
Acts out his feelings, rather than talking them out.
* *
Plays games; is indirect or evasive.
* *
Is insensitive to your feelings.
* *
Has no empathy, no compassion.
* *
Is rigid, inflexible; needs rules and structure to
feel secure.
* *
Is not emotionally available; offers little chance of
emotional intimacy.
* *
Does not consider your feelings before acting.
* *
Does not consider their own future feelings before
acting.
* *
Is insecure and defensive and finds it hard to admit
mistakes, express remorse, or apologize sincerely.
* *
Avoids responsibility by saying things like: "What was
I supposed to do? I had no choice!
* *
Is pessimistic and often believes the world is unfair.
* *
Frequently feels inadequate, disappointed, resentful,
bitter or victimized.
* *
Locks himself into courses of action against common
sense, or jumps ship at the first sight of trouble.
* *
Avoids connections with people and seeks substitute
relationships with everything from pets and plants to
imaginary beings.
* *
Rigidly clings to his beliefs because he is too
insecure to be open to new facts.
* *
Can tell you the details of an event, and what they
think about it, but can't tell you how she feels about
it.
* *
Uses his intellect to judge and criticize others
without realizing he is feeling superior, judgmental,
critical, and without awareness of how his actions
impact others' feelings.
* *
Is a poor listener. Interrupts. Invalidates. Misses
the emotions being communicated. Focusses on "facts"
rather than feelings.
I better go now and definitely need to revisit some parts of myself to improve my EQ scoring.
Cheers,
SK
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Thursday, May 19, 2005
SNOWDONIA.. HERE I COMEAfter a very long overdue family vacation, we will spend an extended weekend in Snowdonia, Wales. I am looking forward to have a quality time with my beloved family while enjoying the natural beauty and having fun. Hopefully, we will be lucky this time to have a nice weather and I am still praying that we will have lots of sunshine and less windy/stormy weather even though the forecast on telly just now said it may be rainy yesterday. Living in this island, you can always have a nice sunshine morning and a stormy afternoon or vice versa on the same day. It is only a forecast.... (I am trying to be positive even though it is so cold outside tonite) I have told my beloved darling that we need to pack for both kind of weather. Each of us must bring one light jacket and one heavy jacket. We just back from Sainsbury buying our food ratio for the next 4 days..when the till showed the full amount it was more than £50 pound (more than our weekly grocery expenditure. J did ask me "Are we going for vacation or we gonna have food fest?" I told her that I wanna have great time (read great food). We will be staying in a self catering accommodation so that we will be cooking our own food this time since I don't think there will be any great kebab place there.
I also hope to have time to contemplate during these four days and also try to finish a couple of books that I am currently reading. I decided to bring five books: 'Albani & his Friends - a concise guide to the salafi movement', 'Cold Mountain' (watched the movie but the book is much better), 'Islam- Current Challenges in parliamentary Democracy', 'Islam Embedded: The Historical Development of PAS(1951-2003)' and 'Inilah Jalan Menuju Petunjuk & Hidayah Allah'.
Before I forget, I would love to thanks all of fellow bloggers who has left comments in my last entry. It is my pleasure to share that nice poem (I really feel that those words by the traditional scholar which is also translated nicely into English by Sheikh Muhammad Yacoubi (a contemporary scholar who follow the traditional path) are really poignant. This must be true ilham from Allah swt since it is such a miracle that the poem (I do wonder how it will be if it is translated to Malay).
Wish us all the best so that we will experience nice weather so that I can come back with nice pics of Snowdonia to share with all of you.
Till then,
SK
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Tuesday, May 17, 2005
IN THE SHADE OF MERCYby Imam Abu al-Hasan Muhammad al-Bakri (d.952)
translated from Arabic by:
Sheikh Muhammad ibn al-Sayyid Ibrahim al-Ya'qubi
From: al-Anwar wa-Misbah al-Surur wal-Afkar wa-Dhikir
Nur Muhammad al-Mustafa al-Mukhtar.
("The Lights and Beacon of Happiness and Thoughts and
Commemoration of the Light of the Elect Muhammad s.a.w")
No Mercy that Allah has sent or will send,
None that may ascend, descend or transcend
In the realm of Allah or in His Sovereignty,
Whether it is specific or comes in totality
Except that Taha, His Servant, the Elect
His Prophet, the Preferred whom He verily has sent
Is certainly its channel as well as its source
A fact that every man through reason can course!
So beseech him alwyas for eveything you need
For he is the Shafi' [Intercessor] who accepts all who plead.
Take shelter in him from all distress,
For safety is he, as well as Fortress.
Put down the loads of hope at him there
He is the Refuge, the one who will bear.
In a state of hardship, when calamities fall,
Do not despair; upon him do call
O most Esteemed of Allah whom He did create
And the one by whom to Him we supplicate
How many a time you remove grave grief
And this is what afflicted me again in brief
More helpless than me there will never exist;
What strength do I have or stamina to persist
By He who made you in the world sublime
And raised you in rank where no one can climb
Disburden me from all the hardships and pain;
To whom shall i turn if you ever refrain?
At loss am I; my patience is gone
I have not a clue what next is to be done.
You're the door to Allah; whoever finds a way
To travel without you will surely be turned away.
Prayers on you as the winds of the north
Swiftly shake hands with the flowers that come forth
With Salaam from Allah as the scent of the Houses
Smells sweet, and the fragrance of incense arises!
With the Family, the Companions so long as a dove
On its succulent twig coos softly in the grove.
excerpt from the book "AlBani & his Friends
- a concise guide to the Salafi Movement"
by Sheikh Gibril Fouad Haddad
(pg 83-84) ISBN 0-9547540-0X
My dear fellow friends & bloggers... after being in hiatus for
1.5 years I can't refrain myself to share the above beautiful
poem written hundreds years ago by one traditional islamic scholar.
MasyaAllah, this is really beautiful make my faith in following the
path of traditional Islamic faith getting stronger. May Allah swt show
me and my family the true Islamic teaching & prevent me my family and
my generations from being influenced by the ignorant men.
"... Until, when no `Alim is left, the people will take ignorant men
for teachers. These will be questioned and they will reply without
knowledge. They are themselves misguided and misguide others."
Hadith of Prophet saw (al-Bukhari)
Sang Kelate.
|
sang kelate
Sang Kelate is a Kelantanese citizen who
is born and bred in Kota Bharu. He loves
to share his humble thoughts & exchange idea with the readers.
Muslim
|Male
Malaysian Citizen
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